If I Want Skin & Bones I’ll Buy A Chicken!!!

This is a true story. No names were changed to protect the innocent, because nobody is innocent. Besides, those mentioned in this blog know me, have MySpazz, and I already told them they'd be featured in my little rant, so they can deal.
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I normally don't waste my precious breath arguing, or debating, with mindless little dipshits half my age who think they have a clue. I have a news flash for ya, DUDE....I've forgotten more than you'll ever know, so take your little Emo girlfriend and your Avenged Sevenfold T-Shirt back to the Starbucks and suck a couple of Latte's while "Kristen" cut's herself again in front of the gaggle of horrified soccer mom's who don't seem to realize that the pudgy little cherubs sound asleep in their Aprica strollers, will one day be the Aaron's and Kristen's of the world.
The dipshit in question, Aaron, a co-worker, mistakenly thought that debating me about women was a wise choice. Considering the fact that I had already shagged enough to make any man proud, while the brother or sister Aaron never had was congealing in a towel next to his newly impregnated Mom's side of the bed, this seemed ridiculous to me, but I went with it, relishing the opportunity to apply a verbal bitch slapping to Aaron's empty head.
Specifically, Aaron told me that he doesn't like "fat" women, nor does he think any men like "fat" women.
"What do you mean, "fat?", I asked....
"You know, fat, like Drew Barrymore", said Aaron The Stupid.....
"Drew Barrymore isn't FAT, you moron, she has a killer body!", I exclaimed, laughing loud enough to be heard in the parking lot outside.
"Dude, she's fat, she weighs like.....120 pounds", said Aaron The Stupider....
Now, at this point I didn't quite know how to respond to this little worm. Was he just playing me, or has this child already been brainwashed by society's image of what a woman should look like??
As it turns out, he wasn't playing me, he's another victim of our idiotic "skin and bones is hot" mentality.
Aaron, buddy....THIS IS NOT HOT!!!Sadly, what I had hoped was going to be a simple, light-hearted debate among two males of vastly different ages and tastes, about the pure, unadulterated bliss that is the female form, turned into a rather serious discussion about anorexia, bulimia, peer and societal pressures, and the issues faced by kids today. This little shit pissed me off!! I just wanted to talk tit's and ass, but instead of man-to-man, strip club style locker room humor, and me setting this kid straight, I ended up sounding like a commentator on NPR!!I had to finish this conversation, otherwise I would have ripped the hoop from Aaron's smug little nose, and force fed it down his throat. It saddens me to think that kids his age (20) already have such a skewed and unhealthy vision of what people are "supposed" to look like. Too many young girls (and some boys) choke down 3 bites of salad only to run to the bathroom and puke it all back up two minutes later, because digesting it may get them one ounce closer to 100 pounds, and society seems to be telling them that skin and bones is prettier and more attractive than a healthy and medically acceptable weight to height ratio.Dispensing with any further discussion of a serious nature, I told Aaron that the bottom line is this: Women are not supposed to have the body of a man. Women are supposed to have hips, curves, a SHAPE!!!! The most gorgeous and beautiful thing ever created (or that evolved, whatever) is the female body, and one day, when you grow up and realize that My Chemical Romance really isn't THAT GOOD of a band, you'll also begin to appreciate the female body in ALL it's forms, not just what you've been brainwashed into believing is healthy at such a young age.
"Dude, you're just old"....chuckled Aaron as he strapped on his iPod, pulled up the saggy jeans that had no waist to sit on, and slinked away..
"Dude, I LOVE YOU!"...exclaimed Lissa, the incredibly hot 24 year-old receptionist who loves to eat, has all her curves in the right places, and who had been listening to the entire conversation, and was now hugging me to the cheers and applause of the rest of the crew.....
Apparently this old dude still has a clue after all......:-)
What should we discuss next, Aaron???????