Reality Checks LTD

Yesterday, I wrote about lies of omission. Today, let's talk about the truth.The truth that we omit to tell. The opinions that we hold back. The perceptions that we reign in, even in cases of the obvious. The times when we're remain tactfully silent, or when we nod our heads, even though we, quite frankly, cannot believe the blah-blah-blah registered by our own two ears.Let's face it, some people are in DIRE need of a reality check. They put themselves in situations that are painfully and obviously dangerous, immoral, or just plain stupid. They're in danger of losing their money, their reputations ... maybe even their lives. Live long enough, and trust me, you'll meet at least one of these people. Probably more, because they tend to breed at a profound rate. God, Landmark. Who hasn't lost a friend to Landmark Forum? Aka "Est," founded by profligate IRS evader Werner Erhard in the 1970's and revived for our horror in the 90's. Typically, a "friend" called to badger you to attend a weekend "forum." For along the lines of four-hundred dead presidents. Don't have it? Ask your parents, ask your bank. Sell your car! Positively visualize getting it back ten-fold! There were no hard guarantees that one could "positively visualize" away that loan or get back their car. I had a friend like that ... once upon a time. My vehicle of choice was to politely "Mm-hm" and then avoid said friend like Black Death. I could have given him a reality check that first time on the phone, which was that there was no way he was gonna get rich off Landmark, and even if he did, it would be on the back of countless "friends" who put themselves into debt at his bequest. The friend who tried to coerce me "positively visualized" himself all the way to divorce court after bankrupting his business. Maybe I should have dared mention the words "pyramid scheme" -- ya think?It gets stickier when someone you love suggests something so off-the-wall stupid, so lacking in common sense, that you're gobsmacked at the mere suggestion of it. One of my Ex-husbands (not saying which) decided we should co-own a restaurant with a charming man from Central America, Miguel (name changed). Miguel's restaurant didn't lack for business; it was Miguel's penchant to snort up the profits that was driving everything under. I voiced my concerns to my then-husband that any money we invested would go right up Miguel's nose. He ignored me. Guess what happened? I should have trusted my initial reaction, which was to say, "No, darling, we will not co-invest with a cocaine addict. Furthermore, we need to go to counseling, because you are showing the judgment of a newt." Live and learn, live and learn ...Stupid girl in the piano performance sequence. Got involved with a visiting professor from Russia (why did all the visiting profs spell t-r-o-u-b-l-e?). It's not bad enough that professor and student were consorting; the visiting prof was in a steady relationship with one of the tenured female professors, a kind soul who didn't deserve the mental breakdown she got. Of course, the whole thing was outted, and the visiting prof and student were exiled to some music Siberia. I wish I would have stopped my classmate in the hall, shaken her shoulders, and said, "What. The. Fuck? Do you just *really* want to stir the shit around here?" Then there are people who are so terminally full-of-shit stupid, you're afraid to look back, lest you turn into a pillar of it yourself. One guy ... in the fifteen years I've known him, hooked on "get rich quick" schemes. His latest "gig" is as a spirit channeler. No words. I want to form a company, Reality Checks LTD. It would be comprised of one reception area and six private rooms outfitted with desks and chairs. Ikea has nice, cheap ones. I'd keep it open 24/7 for those who have a late-night emergency (extra charges apply). I'd hire outspoken, certified therapists with semi-abrasive personalities, sort of like Dr. Phil without the cheesy "That dog won't hunt" factor, because people aren't coming to us for refrigerator magnet slogans; they're coming to us because they need a reality check. Reality checks would be limited to 15 minutes, because if you can't sort out the details of your conundrum in that amount of time, you're already fucked over your head. Then the therapist would tell you, quite succinctly, why you're being delusional, stupid, or are erstwhile cruisin' for a bruisin' in very succinct manner and how to remedy the problem with dispatch:Sample Problem 1: My boyfriend's ex is always in some kind of "crisis." She calls him at all hours of the night asking for his advice. This has been going on for a year. If I have to listen to another three a.m. phone conversation, I'll puncture my own eardrums. Sample Answer 1: The next time your boyfriend starts up with the yammering, grab the phone and flush it down the toilet. Tell him you'll buy him a new phone tomorrow. But if his ex calls one more time, that phone will swim with the fishes, too. Next!Sample Problem 2: Whenever I meet my gal pal for brunch, she spends almost the entire time texting her other friends Sometimes we don't even have a conversation other than to ask each other, "What are you going to order?" I'm really insulted!Sample Problem 2: Politely summon your waitperson and ask for the check. Tell your friend that her mind is obviously on other things and that you'll be glad to have brunch with her if she agrees to leave her cell phone in the car. Leave. Next!See how simple? From there, it's up to you. *************************************Ever known someone who is just so full-of-shit stupid you have no words? Have you ever been in a situation when you really wanted to give someone a reality check? What was it? What held you back? Now's your time to shine, kids! :D